So, a friend of mine from college is off to Italy for three weeks without an agenda, itinerary. I think she has a little list of places within Italy she intends to travel to, and a longer list of things to eat and drink.

When I read about her plans, I instantly pictured myself and Ava (a little older) doing something similar. One of my mothering goals is to show her a bit of the world, and I expect that she'll do the same thing for me. And, I can with absolute certainty that one of the benefits of becoming a mother later for ME is that I've had the chance to wander around the world on my own, and I'm at peace with staying put for a while. I have some patience, some understanding of a longer view of things. I don't want to travel much with the kid right now--for her, a trip to the bookstore is as interesting as Italy would be--but someday we will.

I marvel, constantly, at what mothering has done for my outlook. I thought so many things about being a mom, but I didn't know how loving someone so much would infuse everything I do with hope and possibility. I thought I'd really be strung out, at the end of my rope right now--the other night she was up at 2am, why, I don't know. Just up!--but instead of irritating the hell out of me, my response was more of an "Oh, jeez." Offer some love and consolation, and an hour later, we're all back to sleep (all = both of us). It just isn't nearly as exasperating as I thought it would be. Yes, that's the best way of describing it. I thought this would be more frustrating for me, to not know exactly what her needs are, but it turns out that her needs at this point are somewhat predictable, and my response to the uncertainty contributes to the outcome.

Based on an experience at a restaurant today, I will also tell you that one of the better parenting ideas I've had is to always carry an extra little outfit with you. Lots of people do this, so I'm hardly the brainchild. I do it because I thought, what's the worst-case scenario, and how do I prepare for it? You see this people in restaurants and stores with children who are absolutely howling, and based on the temperment of my child, I know I can avoid that about 90% of the time with some advance planning.

Ok, I just found my cell phone, which has been missing for about a week, and it was in the front pocket of the diaper bag. I thought I'd looked there about 15 times. Duh.